Philadelphia Eagles dismantle Chiefs to win Super Bowl

The Kansas City Chiefs did not win their third Super Bowl in a row.

I know, I know: Detroit Lions fans didn’t really care about this game. Their hearts haven’t recovered from the loss in the Divisional Round after a 15-2 regular season.

But it’s still the Super Bowl. So we have to acknowledge it.

The Philadelphia Eagles made sure anyone who decided not to watch this year’s game didn’t miss a thing. They scored their first touchdown midway through the first quarter and methodically built a 34-0 lead through the waning moments of the third quarter.

By the time Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs finally got on the board, the championship parade in Philadelphia had already been organized.

Mahomes' record in the Super Bowl fell to 3-2, and his pursuit of Tom Brady’s seven titles took a hit. Ironically, it was Brady in the booth analyzing one of Mahomes' worst-ever performances (no thanks to his offensive line).

So, long story short, the Eagles won. Woo. Yay for them.

Don’t worry, Lions fans: The Pistons and Red Wings are in playoff races. Tarik Skubal and the rest of the Tigers' pitchers report to spring training in three days. The future and present are both bright.